Uncle Sigmund, call your office . . .

The talkfest on Hardball dealt wholly with NYC Mayor Bloomberg's "switching" to "independent," and Chris Matthews absentmindedly produced the best analysis of the evening, during one Hardball segment, by referring unintentionally to Bloomberg as "Rupert Murdoch."

Instantly corrected, of course, but the slip stands up better than the correction. That's pretty much the real political news about Bloomberg. Notwithstanding the hundreds of declarations on this program that Bloomberg's announcement will shake up the presidential race, the actuality, I believe, is that if the announcement shakes up anything, it will largely shake up the NY media market.

Actually, that's pretty much the story behind all three of the candidates relentlessly touted, in wake of Bloomberg's announcement, in a "hypothetic matchup" -- Giuliani, Hillary Clinton, and Bloomberg. If these people doing the talking were not based in NY, I wd wonder what they were smoking. I cannot imagine the circumstances under which ANY ONE of these three individuals would get a presidential nomination, even assuming that Bloomberg nominates himself by running as an "independent." I cannot imagine any of these candidates winning an election in any state besides New York. Take Mrs. Clinton, for example. If she and her husband had retired to Arkansas, like Cincinnatus, and been content, surely the 2000 election would have turned out differently -- right? Surely, if she thought she could win the state of Arkansas, she would have run from there.

All three candidates are pure media creations. The 'hypothetical matchup' is not so much hypothetical as pure fantasy, like the question, If you could see a unicorn, where would you like to see one? Or, if you could see a third ear sprout on Bernard Kerik, where would you like to see it?

Take a dispassionate look at Giuliani, even without the lively cross-dressing videos: a flamboyantly scandalous divorce. A longtime association with Bernard Kerik, who has "you keep my secrets, I'll keep yours" written across his forehead. Conveying away physical evidence necessary to an investigation after 9/11. Now look objectively at Mrs. Clinton -- or "Hillary," as the GOP and the neocons always refer to her, and it can't be affectionately: Juanita Broaddrick. A vote for the war resolution leading to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and soon to the deaths of 4,000 American soldiers.

Then there's Bloomberg -- another media mogul, like Rupert Murdoch, and another NYC mayor, like Rudy Giuliani or John Lindsay or one of those guys from the Great Depression who used to win elections because people actually liked them, although not much like that.

Only in the world of delirious asses who inhabit the toxic canyons of Wall Street and Upper Manhattan could these three prominent figures qualify as likely presidential candidates, much less presidential nominees.

But commentators across a rather narrow political spectrum agreed, today, in treating a Bloomberg candidacy as a likely hypothesis. They mostly followed up, too -- and this explains a lot -- by insisting vehemently that Bloomberg wd then be a "spoiler," and a spoiler for the Dems, the argument being that he is a "liberal" and wd appeal to "liberals" and "moderates." I seriously think there is no possibility of this scenario playing out. Genuine liberals or progressives tend to inform themselves about candidates before they vote for them -- especially given a full year and a half to do so.

But not for the pundits. It's really beginning to look as though MSNBC can hardly come across with honest analysis, at this stage, unless it starts running a crawl repeating across the bottom of the screen saying, "We harm the public . . ."

Speaking of Freudian slips: Bloomberg himself was featured in a short clip, explaining his shift from Republican to independent by complaining about a purported excessive partisanship in politics today. As Bloomberg put it, it's gotten to a point where "You're a piranha if you have lunch with" somebody from the other party.

I like that one.